i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Pants are for mortals
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
