you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
