it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
