Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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