Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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