bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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