you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
