On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What a fucking waste of an outfit
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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