dude i'm inner monologue high
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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