Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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