I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize