In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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