I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
