I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
