I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
