There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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