He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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