Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
