I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
