Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
