If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
