My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
