her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
MIDGETS
????
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
