At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
