ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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