I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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