You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
