Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
