what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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