I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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