One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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