i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
