My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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