The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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