Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You need a sexual gate keeper
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
