I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
