i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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