the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
