I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
