drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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