What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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