honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
from now on my penis is your penis
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
