super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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