Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
