Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
