Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
