Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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