I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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