Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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