Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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