Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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