maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
