What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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