I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
