so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
