Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
